Come, Let us Adore Him....

Gift giving is not my love language... period. I mean, I'm not horrible at it. I think... It's just, I'm not GREAT at it. It's not something that comes natural to me, it's not a natural expression of how I feel towards someone, or an indicator of how well I know them. I think that my sensitivities tend to pick up other things... details, or little clues as to what could be the perfect gift- are almost completely unobserved- at least by me. I know people who are wonderful gift givers- my husband and one of my best friends just to name a few. They always have something in mind. They delight in the process of giving- from the acquisition of the gift, to the presentation, and last of all to the actual moment when the suspense has been built and all of their thoughtfulness and time spent will be revealed to their recipient, and that person will feel loved and blessed. Even though I've seldom experienced that side of the coin, I'm not going to lie- I look forward to being on the receiving end of their love language. It's delightful. A home run every time!
This year.... this year was a little different. Finally nine and a half years into marriage I figured out that my lovely husband gives gifts as he wishes to receive them... and I challenged myself to think out side the box. Outside of the box I did.... outside of the car, outside of the living room, I came up with the jackpot of presents and was soooo thrilled to give it away. I was more excited about the anticipation of this then ever before... The preparation, the thrill of the suspense- the moment when all of my effort, and love and reflection all packaged up in a little tiny box were waiting to be exposed.... I held my breath....
Please adore my gift.... Please see that my heart is in that box, just waiting to be received and adored...
It made me think about another gift, another giver. A gift that came packaged in swaddling cloths, and was born in a smelly barn, because no one had prepared for his arrival. No one made room... and except for the army of heavenly hosts, a few observant sheep herders, and a few wise men who's hearts were turned towards heaven.... the world missed it in that moment. Sometimes the world still misses it today.
Was God waiting with anticipation for the humanity to receive the greatest gift of all time. Was He sitting on the edge of the world saying: "Please adore Him.. Please don't miss this, please adore that I wrapped my heart my self up in a little tiny miracle who will one day save the world..."
That's what it's all about, isn't it? That we give and receive symbolically and in memory of the greatest gift ever given, the greatest sacrifice ever made... so that we could have life, and life abundantly..... So, come... Let's Adore Him....

For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.

Transition...

I can feel it.... It's in the air.... the faint breeze.... of change. I think I get this way each year right about this time. All reflective and expectant. But this year it's a little different. I'm a little more reflective. And a little more expectant, come to think. I feel like 2010 is going to be a big one for the Larson family. 2008 was about tearing down, 2009 about rebuilding, and 2010? 2010 is going to usher in a whole new season. I'm gearing up.... I'm watching and waiting... With alot of hope and a little trepidation... I'm treasuring my life as it is, desperately trying to be a good steward of what I have... while my territory expands. I'm letting go a little, and holding on tight, all at the same time. Life is a ride- a journey- an adventure- pick your own cliche. Life, it certainly is unpredictable. I guess that is, if you open yourself up to even the slightest of possibilities.

Blessed are the....

Poor in spirit.... I have heard pastors, speakers, writers, etc. use this scripture to reference physical need. It has been used to challenge and exhort the Christian community to value the poor. It's been used to discourage the community from despising financial struggle, to find value in need. I think that the truth is we should value the poor and times of need. There are many scriptures that refer to this, but I don't think this is one of them... I looked up the phrase "poor in spirit". I got alot of interpretations but the ones that rang true weren't about physical need at all. Its the "in spirit" part that always threw me... Did it mean blessed are the depressed? Blessed are those that feel empty in spirit? That didn't seem right.... I dug a little deeper, searched in the amplified and came across the phrase "not self sufficient..." What does it mean to not be self sufficient? Dependent.... If I can't accomplish or supply is on my own effort, than I am depended on God to provide it.... I think the thing that is so interesting about this idea is that it defines a core value of Christianity and theology is grace by faith.... If the kingdom of heaven is promised to those who are dependent on God for their spiritual security, than it's likely to think they have figured out, there's just no way to earn it... We are no longer under the law for the purpose of attaining atonement through rituals, tradition, and effort. We are not responsible for our spirituality by finding inner peace, or creating fulfillment with our own ability, or even pure state of mind... This theology is in direct contrast to the modern message of society today. Control your own destiny.... Create object boards.... Throw out into the universe what you want and it will come back to you... Name it and Claim it.... Just call things that aren't as though they were.... Be independent, strong self sufficient. Don't let anybody hold you back, or keep you down. Don't take no for an answer. The interesting thing is that I think that the point of this small two lined scripture outlines an entirely different way of life.... When we realize that despite our best attempts, we are wholly relying and depending on Him, we are blessed, fulfilled, at peace, happy despite our circumstances, in the knowledge that we are protected, in relationship with our Father, reliant on Him and that have the promise of all eternity with him...

Its Friday!!!

This week has been one of those weeks where you feel like you're spinning your wheels. Climbing out of quicksand, and trying to win a race while dragging a big weight....You know the kind. Every effort seems produce few results. But you keep spinning, climbing and running. Because what other choice is there? This is what perseverance is all about. This is the stuff that strong character is made of. Choosing to plug in when it's easy to check out. Choosing to press on towards the prize even if it seems there's no way you'll ever reach it. Put up or shut up, sink or swim... so many cliches revolve around this concept. The part I struggle with probably has something to do with my high value for justice, fairness and logic. If you work hard you should bear fruit, right? Not always.... Or maybe I should say not immediately. Or maybe the fruit you bore was internal and not external. Like watering a peach tree in the hot hot sun and growing a pear. So- I surrender my need for predictability, and my desired response, and look to see what kind of fruit grows. Maybe I'll learn to like surprises...

One step at a time...

After a family fun weekend at Water Country USA, lets just say I became shockingly aware of my age. And my level of fit-ness. Or lack thereof. Now, thankfully Water Country isn't exactly a place where the gods and goddesses of beauty hang out where people can admire them while eating turkey legs and ice cream. I didn't feel out of place, but walking around in a bathing suit with perfect strangers for a day will give you some perspective. It's not just about appearance anyway. But, about how I felt... I was breathless... I was tired. I wanted to lay on the lounge chairs instead of giving my kids another piggy back swim... Good grief, I thought, I'm getting old. Suddenly it was like an alarm went off in my scull. At this point I am officially closer to 30 than I am to 29. And you know what? There's alot I don't mind about that. Considering the alternative to aging is well, dying, I am grateful to have another birthday. Also, on a serious note, I like who I am and my life a whole lot better than who and where I was at 20. It's reasonable to think I will only refine as time goes by. Like a fine wine. :) Unless... Unless of course I shrivel up. Like a grape that turns into a raisin... Continue to loose muscle tone and agility. Stop working on my character and give into bitterness. Oh Lord, I don't want to be one of those.... I better start doing something fast. If you have read this blog at all, you know I have been pretty diligent about my heart. But let's be honest, I've been pretty negligent about the physical aspect of aging.... So, I approached my 40 something neighbor, who is officially a hot mom, I swear, she gardens in a bikini and nobody minds. She walks every morning. Every morning. Unless it's raining. Even in the winter. She's a fanatic. And she has more energy than anybody else I know. I asked if I could join her. Absolutely! She invited me warmly, be at the corner at 5:00 AM. Crap. 5:00 AM? It's not even light out then. Is that safe? But I found myself nodding in agreement and spending the rest of the evening going between dread, and maybe a little excitement? My alarm when off at 4:45. For a second I thought it was a mistake. I thought of a million reasons to stay in bed. And then I got up. I harnessed my crazy Australian Shepherd who craves exercise, and walked out on the porch. After just a minute, my neighbor came walking up. Well not really walking. Is there a word for the pace that comes just before jogging? Wogging, perhaps? Oh, well, too late to turn back now. My neighbor explained that she meets two other woman along the mile long loop that is our neighborhood. Only one would join us today, we'd walk the loop twice and then she'd run for three more miles. Wow. I was about to be shamed by two woman a little less than twice my age. I hoped they wouldn't talk to me. If I could avoid speaking it wouldn't be obvious how out of breath I was. No such luck. These were friendly neighbors. Closing in on that first mile, I could see my house. It looked like a haven all dewy and glowing by porch light in the morning dusk... Seriously, even though it badly needs to be power washed and landscape, it had never looked more beautiful. I could stop. Debbie told me when she first started 10 years ago, she couldn't even make it to the stop sign. Of course, right after that she said it's a state of mind and you just have to push through it. My pride and sense of determination and competition kept me going. And you know what? The second mile was easier than the first. Interesting isn't it? Just when I thought I was going to pass out. At that moment between giving up and pressing on, right at the very second I decided to keep wogging- one step at a time, it got just a little easier...

Some Days....

Some days I find time to notice things like a butterfly being blown by the wind... Today was one of those days :). During the busy craziness that is my life my heart smiles just a little when I catch a glimpse of nature, and am left in awe. Can you imagine being so small that a gust of wind would literally send you soaring? I for one can not imagine existing with grace and delicacy of a butterfly, I stumble and fall both literally and figuratively all the time! But for a butterfly who flutters deliberately and carefully I imagine a strong gust of wind would be quite the shock. It made me wonder about the wind in my life.... the elements that have the power to knock me off my feet. Sometimes, I'm knocked to my knees, in prayer and petition... but sometimes I'm laid right out. It seems that in the swirling hectic life I lead, I'm grasping for some stability.... And I think I'm finding it. This season of my life has been one of learning and growing. Two steps forward and one step back, right? All I know is that things that previously would have sent me to the other side, though may sway me, do not hold the power they once did. And, the lapse of time between my deviation and return to my deliberate and careful path is just a little shorter. I think once again, for me, it's about release and surrender. Laying it down, going with the flow, and learning how to ride the wind... and even enjoy it :) I wonder if the butterfly appreciated the boost....

Seemingly Insignigificant Coincidences....

Today I was reading in Esther.... It is amazing to me the story of an orphan, raised by her uncle, who finds herself in the delight of the most powerful man in her life. A man who literally seems to control the fate of her family, and her people.... I read in the commentary that this book almost didn't even make it into the bible... how the lack of spirituality, note of worship, and God's involvement made authorities question its value as a biblical book.... The commenter noted how it seemed that the author deliberately left these aspects out, possibly to depict God's sovereignty even in seemingly insignificant coincidences. There are details in this story that are easily glanced over, but later prove to be heavily weighed actions and determiners.. I guess it just got me thinking about the peaks and valleys in my own life.... Certainly there have been times where God is big, His voice loud, His hand mighty, His presence obvious. But there have also been times where He seems small, hidden, his face behind a cloud, his influence goes largely undetected. It made me wonder about the seemingly insignificant coincidences that go un-noticed, where I might be missing His supremacy... For me, and maybe others that have grown up in a largely charismatic environment, I look to see God in Power and Might, in prophetic words, in supernatural healing and other signs and wonders.... And while I do not wish to take away from the wonder and awesomeness in those moments, I guess I am learning that God is ever present in quiet times too. In sad times, in bad times, He is still sovereign. He is still mighty, He is still piecing together the seemingly insignificant that will ultimately shape who I am. He is still molding me, still forming me, still loving me.... I am learning to look for God not only on the Mountain top, but in the valleys too... In the thick of the mud and the rain and the storms. In the midst of long, seemingly unending paths where I don't know where I am or which way to turn. When things are silent, when I am bored, when I am delighted, when I am content. I don't want to simply exist, I want to experience all He has for me. I want to understand the significance of the details and events that I have dismissed before, and find Him in the midst.... Someday I'll write about how struck I am that this girl, was so honoring and submissive to a King who almost sanctioned the mass destruction of her people. Surely if she can honor, and submit to her husband, there's hope for anyone... even me.