Expansion

So it's been a while.... It's not that I haven't thought about blogging. Not that I haven't had things to say... I guess maybe I jut wasn't ready to say them. I'm not usually an internal processor, but in the last few months I have taken a page right out of the introvert handbook. I'll try to sum it up now, because I feel like I'm ready to take my head out of the sand and share what's been going on with me, and with the Larson Family.

Fall of 09 brought with it structure and change and delightful consistency. Julia flourished in her Kindergarten class at Summit Christian Academy. It was such an answer to prayer to put her in that school, and to be able to afford it. We felt settled and at peace. She made friends, established good patterns and things went well!

Noah started preschool with a bang. In fact, he didn't even kiss me goodbye that first day. Just ran in the class asking about dinosaurs and barely waved. I decided that he was well adjusted, instead of poorly bonded. At least that's what I told myself when watched all of the other two year olds clutching nervously to their mother's thighs. Well adjusted, that's what we are....

I took advantage of the time away from the kids to further my Real Estate career. It was off with a bang. The thing I never set out to do, kind of fell in my lap and I was good at it. Great at it. And more than that, I loved it!

Brian's job was running like clockwork, things were great, it was a well oiled machine, my life that is. We took the kids camping and to Busch Gardens to ride roller coasters and I began to celebrate their growth. They were real people, with real personalities, interests, we were having fun! Gone were the days of sickness and struggle. We were working our way toward financial freedom, independence, growing as a family, growing spiritually. We were on a train.

Then my train jumped tracks.... On November 16, Brian's birthday we found out that our family was growing.... In just 9 short months, we would become a family of five. I was shocked, to say the least. So was Brian, I mean, what a birthday present! In retrospect, there were signs, little signals where my gracious Heavenly Father was preparing my heart, and turning it more towards my family... Signs that he was expanding my territory. But I was still caught off guard. It took a while to get used to the idea. A while to feel pregnant and not just sick... a while adjust.

In April, when we found out that we were having a sweet baby girl, my excitement grew. As much as I love my rough and tumble man cub, I was excited to have a teeny tiny princess again. And so excited for my Julia, who's prayers had been heard and affirmatively answered, she's wanted a sister for several years. We bought pink, and looked at nursery decor, and began to prepare, but I still somehow could not picture another baby...

I felt her moving, noticed that she seemed to like to dance to music, became accustomed to our nightly routine of ice-cream and play time... But I still couldn't picture me with a new baby. She grew. I grew. It was obvious to the world that our family was growing, quite literally before their eyes and still when I closed my eyes to imagine my angel, I just couldn't...

We named her. Prayed over her, welcomed her... but I just couldn't seem to wrap my brain around her arrival....

Until she arrived. God blessed me with the most amazing labor and delivery. It was short and sweet, and I was surrounded by my supportive husband and best friends who coached me through, laughed me through, and cried me through every emotional moment... Hannah Joy came out with a burst of tears, just the right amount for a great apgar score, and was quickly quieted down. When the chaos and aftermath was over... when all was quiet and calm.... when Brian brought our new baby over to me I was unprepared again. Unprepared for the emotion. Unprepared for the literal, almost physical expansion of my heart and capacity to love. Unprepared for the immediate rush of deep deep love for this baby, who up until that moment I couldn't imagine, and after that moment, I couldn't remember my life without her....

Her sweet silky hair, her perfect rosebud lips, her dark and lovely eyes.... Hannah is perfect. All six pounds eleven ounces of her... She came out ready to be in the world, ready to be in my home, and ready to take her place in my heart.... And I'm so grateful. Grateful for a God who knew, even though I didn't that my family wasn't complete. Grateful for this precious gift who I could not have been without. Grateful for my charming children who love and adore their little sister. Grateful for a husband, who is also an amazing father...

Every baby has been wonderful. But this baby, as most surprises are, is uniquely special...She took my breath away. For me, with my love for planning and preparedness, I'm often tough to surprise. And I'm okay with that... But this surprise, not just of having her, but of how I felt when I did, this will be one of those life changing moments that I will remember forever.

So welcome to our world Hannah Joy. Welcome to our family, to our home, to our life. You are bringing Grace, and Joy, and balance with you.... And we are treasuring every moment of it....