Perspective....

So.... I took the kids camping.  Well,  Erin and I took the kids camping.  As it turns out, Erin and I make a terrific team and the weekend was wondrous!  It was a bit intimidating, because Brian had previously committed to going to an NFL game and choosing to go camping with my brother and his wonderful family was exciting and a bit scary without the support and assistance of my sweet husband. My brother booked the sites back in the spring time.  When my brother Nate goes camping he always goes to Crabtree falls in the western part of Virginia.  It's tucked away in the Blue ridge mountains, just outside of skyline drive.  The campground is nestled right along the banks of the Tyre river, and the waters that run come cascading down Crabtree falls.  According to Wikipedia:  Crabtree falls is one of the tallest sets of waterfalls in the US east of the the Mississipi.  It's credited as being 1200 feet high and has a series of five major cascades.

Nate only believes in tent camping, right along the river.  A minimum of a five minute walk from the parking lot, with no water or electricity on the sites...  The campsites are private, and secluded, far from other campers, and city noise.  Due to the canopy of trees, you can only see shadows and the glimmer of brilliant stars.  The river provides a soothing serene ambiance.  Cooking happens over the open flame of the campfire, or a camp stove.  I know that roughing it is completely subjective, but taking three little ones to a campsite in sub thirty degrees with no heat was a little nerve wracking.

Erin and I ran the show like a machine,  loading up kids and wheel barrow we had the tent established in less than ten minutes and the  car unpacked about a half hour.  We set up beds.  We put on jackets, we started a fire....

The weekend had everything that a camping trip should.  It had s'mores, and hikes, and fires, and and hotdogs and coffee from a percolator.  It had jackets, and runny noses, and leaves, and dirt and grime.  It had cuddles by a fire, and the laughter of children and falling leaves and gravel paths.   It had frigid cold temps, and cuddling just to stay warm.... it had glimmering sunshine through the trees.  It had solitude, and simplicity, and the hard manual work of lifting and carrying and setting up and tearing down.  And it had lessons... so many life lessons.

Not everything went perfect.  Despite our best efforts, and near perfection, Erin and I made the slightest mistake in setting up the tent.  I think that itsy bitsy mistake cost us about 15 degrees that night.  It was so very cold....  Two out of three of my children fell in the Tyre river.  The third has a bald spot from where she got gum stuck in her hair.  There were falls, and a twisted ankle, and tears.  Everybody was exhausted and each of the kids asked to go home separately and at least once...

Surprisingly,  that's not really what I remember. It's not what the kids remember either.  They remember:  Laughing.  Playing. Singing.  Praying. Hiking.  Cuddling.  Campfires.  S'mores.  They remember having an adventure.  Conquering the cold.  Being a family.  Climbing a mountain.  Seeing a waterfall. Roasting marshmallows. Building a fire.

I remember... Being given the chance to take a chance at living life....  and taking the risk.  The risk of getting lost, the risk of messing up the tent, the risk of cold, the risk of failure... and taking the chance to live....  and embrace the good with the bad... and the reward, was oh so worth it. In the freezing, frigid 24 degree weather... I felt alive....  When I was cleaning up my kids and drying them off, and drying their shoes, I felt alive....  When they laughed, when we hugged, when I comforted and carried them... I felt alive.  

And I realized, that I always have a choice.  I can choose what captures my gaze... What monopolizes my thoughts... to what I dedicate my attention... my energy, my worship.....

I have felt recently like I'm being challenged to focus my attention... Not on what is directly in front of me... but on what we can not see.... because it seems to be those things that matter.  The eternally significant, the forever moments that can pass by... I can be safe, or I can live... but I'm not sure I can do both.....  I am choose life.  Life without worry... or anxiety or fear....

For so long I've heard: be anxious for nothing... that's so hard for someone like me. Because I'm a doer, not watcher.  I don't know how to not... only to do.  So without an alternative to not being anxious.... well I'm just anxious.  Recently while reading in Matthew 6 something struck me.  You know the scripture.  Everyone does, consider the Lilies, don't worry... etc.  But one verse stuck out.  

"Your eye is a lamp that provides light for your body.  When your eye is good your whole body is filled with light."  Matthew 6:22

I think that what got to me was that there was a revelation that I could do something, something active not just choosing to not be anxious, but really choosing what to focus on.  Because if our focus is clear, and holy, than our whole lives are filled with His light... 

"So we fix our gaze, not on what is seen, but on what is unseen.  For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." 2 Corinthians 4:18

The mess doesn't matter.  Literally or figuratively.  If we focus on what is directly in front of us, instead of on Him who holds the stars in His hands... Then our vision isn't clear.  When our vision is distorted, everything is dark and confused.  

There really is a choice... what captivates our attention....  I'm choosing light. One day at a time... And I'm waking up... just a little more every moment....

Some of my favorite memories:

 Consider the Lilies....