Trust

Last year in February my daughter’s school (Summit Christian Academy) had priority enrollment for returning families.  In Real Estate, often you find yourself in a situation of feast or famine, and at the time, I really needed to wait a few months before we had the funds for enrolling Julia, and upcoming kindergartener Noah. We were really trying to be good stewards and didn’t want to borrow the money.  Also, we knew that if we waited a few months then we’d have plenty so we didn’t want to apply for assistance from the school.

Two months later when we sat down with the principal to discuss enrolling the children, she informed us that there was in fact, a waiting list for kindergarten.  With five kids on it.  I shook my head… but what does that mean? She explained as tenderly as she could that we’d waited too long and kindergarten was full, and then some. 

In a very un-Heather like moment I burst into tears.  I wasn’t hearing her words any more.  I was imagining balancing three children in three different schools with different start times and holidays.  I wondered if we could pull that off for a year if there’d be any difference and if we could even get him in for first grade.  I was imagining having to tell Julia that she couldn’t be with her friends, who she loves, because we couldn’t stay at the school that we loved because I’d failed.  Failed to sign them up quick enough.  Failed to make enough money.  Failed to plan accurately.  I was devastated.  We added Noah’s name to the waiting list and pulled out of the parking lot. 

My head was spinning.  We were going to have to visit schools, meet with administrators, look at new fee schedules… we didn’t have time to add this to our crazy life.  But when I slowed down and took a breath, I felt almost a burden to rest…. It was almost like God was reminding me that He had this all under control.  I didn’t feel released to do ANYTHING… I really felt like this was a season where I waited on Him, to guide and direct.  So I didn’t Google any schools.  I didn’t make any calls.  I didn’t do anything.  And that felt really weird, and honestly irresponsible. 

It only felt irresponsible because I’m so independent.  Which really at the end of the day means despite the fact that I muck things up on a regular basis I’m still inclined to trust my human efforts over the sovereign destiny my Father has for me.

There’s a fine line between doing things in excellence and striving in our own strength.  There’s a fine line between fear and wisdom.  Sometimes fear causes me to strive, but I pretend like I’m properly planning, and being wise.  Real wisdom never asks you to take your eyes off of the One who spoke the world into existence and places responsibility on the shoulders of imperfection.

Fast forward…. Noah got into Summit.  Turns out they had so much interest they started another class.  I was temped to lament the fact that Noah would be in a different class than Julia had been… But then I reminded myself that God was orchestrating the whole process.

Noah’s teacher is wonderful. She is kind and driven by a big heart with love for Jesus and her students.  She inspires the kids to learn.  She is perfect for my little man cub.  And God knew that.  And He knew that if I’d done things “according to schedule” Noah would have missed being in her class.  This wonderful, smaller class, with kids that he knew from his preschool where he was destined to be

Noah is learning how to read.  And write his name.  And what numbers represent.  And that Jesus loves Him, and that he is writing his Jesus story right now…. And I’m learning.  Learning that His ways are higher than ours. Isaiah 55:9  Sometimes in the middle of the unknown, we can't see what's around the corner.  Sometimes things don't work out the way we want them to.  Sometimes, they work out better.

I just got to go on a field trip with my boy…. I watched his eyes wide in wonder.  I watched him laugh with his friends.   I watched him learn and play and I was grateful.  Grateful that God is directing his steps… and mine too when I choose to rest and trust in Him.

His thoughts are higher than ours… His ways are higher than ours.  His plans…. They are even better than hours…. So we can rest, and hope and be confident in His plans for us.

I know the plans that I have for you, declares the Lord.

They are plans for:

(peace, completeness, wellness, soundness)

and not

(adversity, affliction, bad, calamity, displeasure, distress)

Plans to give you a hope for your future….

Jeremiah 29:11

I pray that God, the source of Hope will fill you completely with joy and peace, because you trust in Him.  Then you will overflow with the confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit. 

Romans 15:13

My Favorite Pics from Belmont Pumpkin Farm